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  • disillusion in spring (or, trip hangover)

    Dear America's Funniest Home Videos,
    Why do you choose relatively unfunny videos for the three $10,000 finalists?  I saw at least three clips in your humorous birthday cake segment that made me laugh harder than your finalists did combined.  For example, when the baby sat in her birthday cake, or when a rubber chicken popped out of the woman's cake and scared her.  Why did a man struggling to bench press a very heavy dumbell make it to the finals instead?  What are your criteria?  Just curious.
    Warmest regards,
    Parker James Givan


    So, I hate school right now.  I still enjoy Geography, but I'm not going to be a German major anymore.  I'd still like to keep it as a minor and go study abroad if I can, but I just can't take all this subjunctive genetive participle nonsense any longer.  I'm not looking forward to a job with German anymore anyway.  ::sigh::  What am I looking forward to?  Honestly, just... travelling and you...  should I even BE a student right now?  I'm not even half way (130/500 German words) into a paper that's due at 12:20 tomorrow and I can't even force myself to do it.  I can't even muster enough determination.  Ugh.  Maybe I'm not cut out for this... it's only Tuesday.


    I'm getting sick and it's going to snow again.


    What is wrong with me... we just talked two hours ago and I'm already jonezing...  I firmly believe in love's powers of addiction.  I am in WITHDRAWAL.  I can not think of anything but a time and place in which we can be together.  Not for a week.  Not for a month.  For years and years and years.  A time and place where I can support you and you can support me.  We can love and support one another and that'd be all we need.  Am I naïve?  Does such a place and time exist?  If it does, I can't hold out for it for much longer.  I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get us there as immediately as possible.  If it doesn't... I don't want to even begin to think about if it doesn't.  But the roadblocks consume me.


    Mike just called this a "trip hangover."  I guess that's very accurate.  I'm trying to find a way to dispute it but I can't... I guess I'm a major alcoholic then, cuz all I do is dream of the next time, and dread the time in between.  Is that healthy?  All I can say is that it majorly sucks ass that things are such right now that I have them.


    ...You know what... I'm over it.  I think it will pass completely when the next fix is scheduled.  Time to write my paper.

  • still coming down from the best spring break ever...

    iTunes' "Just For You": "You bought Confessions on a Dancefloor. We recommend: Brokeback Mountain (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack)." Haha fag.

    As I was sitting in Mike's friend's brand-new über-sweet fully-optioned custom-colored bluetooth-enabled navigation-systemed BMW sedan, something occured to me: I got to get PAID! I mean, that shit was the coolest. His bluetooth phone's address book was (formerly) able to be displayed on the dashboard screen, you could dial from there and the call would be heard over the car's speakers. There were microphones placed throughout the car so anyone could just talk and be heard. WTF? Is that not the coolest shit? I knew it was a really nice car the whole time but once I saw that... wow. Haha I'm such a nerd.

    We rode in that to one of the coolest malls I've ever been to to see V for Vendetta. It took me until last night to decide that I like it. And I only barely like it. It's too pretentious. But being a desensitized American, I guess I missed the point of the movie: When is violence okay? That was the question I was probably SUPPOSED to be asking myself while watching, but in my mind I was watching an ACTION movie and violence was supposed to be guaranteed... and there wasn't enough if you ask me.

    It was Mike's birthday yesterday. Happy birthday, baby! Sorry I *almost* forgot. Heeeee... I was just thinking about him (pretty much nonstop since I've been home... sigh) at about 6 last night, and then I remembered the date and matched it all up in my head... Now I just need to figure out a birthday present. :o

    ::sigh:: I don't want to be here anymore... I want to be back in California with you where it's so warm... here it's snowing and cold and boring and lonely... Only a month and a half left though. It will be so much easier to watch the time pass if I have a deadline. So much easier to do my work, too. Let's get a countdown going... As of today, I will be done on Thursday, May 4. That's 33 more days of classes after today. Seven weeks. Only 17 more days of work. This shouldn't be too bad... but then what?

  • maybe this will cheer me up

    69 things you probably already knew about me !


    1. Initials:
    PJG

    2. Name someone with the same birthday as you:
    Beyoncé!  ...And my Uncle Loren.

    3. Where was your first kiss?
    in front of my garage

    4. For or against same sex marriage?
    for i guess

    5. Are you homophobic?
    gross.

    6. Are you bisexual?
    bi-curious.

    7. Do you believe in God?
    Not the samd God as you.

    8. How many U.S states have you been to?
    30 and D.C., not counting airport layovers.

    9. How many of the U.S states have you lived in?
    just good old colorado.

    10. Have you ever lived outside the U.S?
    Cairo for a month.

    11. Name something you like physically about yourself.
    I like my eyes and my face


    12. Something non-physical you like about yourself:
    Intelligence

    13. Whats your moms first name?
    Brenda

    14. What is your dream car?
    hmmmmmmm, any z3+ bmw convertible would be nice...

    15. If you could go anywhere in the world where would you go?
    Japan


    16. Have you ever had someone of the opposite sex sleep over?
    uhh... yes.

    18. Do you download music?
    a lot.

    19. How many illegal things have you done?
    Not counting traffic shit?  ...I think I could be charged on 5+ counts of misdemeanor stuff.


    20. Where would you want to go on a first date?
    Disneyland.


    21. Would you date the person who posted this before you?
    probably not, but i know he wouldn't either.


    22. Has anyone ever sang or played for you personally?
    yes


    23. Ever been kissed under fireworks?
    nah

    24. Do you like president Bush?
    i love monkeys!

    25. Have you ever bungee jumped?
    i wish

    26.Have you ever white water rafted?
    4 or 5 times

    27. Has anyone ten years older than you ever hit on you?
    haha.

    29. Have you met a real redneck?
    of course.

    31. What song are you listening to right now?
    silence.

    32. What is your current favorite song?
    I'm partial to "You're Beautiful" by James Blunt, but I could never have just one.


    33. What was the last movie you watched?
    Just finished Vertigo.  Wow.

    35. Where was the last place you went besides your house?
    3 Airports.

    36. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone elses property?
    once I left water running in someone's basement window well, I don't think I did any real damage though.

    37. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex?
    my sisters

    39. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
    uhhh......... probably eyes, height.

    40. What really turns you on?
    sweetness, a good b.o., muscles

    41. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
    Odwalla O.J. and a sandwich... yum.

    42. How often do you use febreze?
    multiple times weekly

    43. What's your favorite kind of poptart?
    i like the fruit ones, no frosting

    44. Say something totally random about yourself:
    I have 3 nipples

    45. Do you have an ipod?
    new 60gb black

    46. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity?
    in the past week:  Elijah Wood and Jake Gyllenhaal.  YES!


    47. What is the best place for a person to be peirced?
    eyebrows

    48. Do you have braces?
    yep but they didn't work.

    49. How tall are you?
    5'7.5" I think...


    50. Are you comfortable with your height?
    i wish i was a little bit taller, wish i was a baller.

    51. Do you like someone right now?
    i love him, i don't have to like him. >D     (but i really, REALLY do.)


    52. Do you speak any other language other than english?
    ich spreche deutsch zeimlich gut...

    55. Have you ever ridden in a limo?
    from my middle school to mcdonalds and back, it was for that reading books/getting points program that I can't remember what it was called, like D.E.A.R. or something

    56. Has anyone you were really close to passed away?
    umm... pets, nobody REALLY REALLY close though...


    57. Do you watch MTV?
    ....sometimes :(

    58. What's something that really annoys you?
    people who can't pick up their feet when they walk.  I can't handle it.  loud walkers.  ugh.

    59. What are some things you really like?
    doorbells, sleighbells, schnitzel with noodles, wild geese that fly with the moon on their wings, showtunes.

    60. Do you like Michael Jackson?
    black mj only

    61. Can you dance?
    not really, but nick billings asked me to teach him to dance once, so i guess i'm at least ok :D


    62. Have you ever surfed?
    no, but i would love to learn.

    63. Do you know how to pump gas?
    uhhh.... yes.

    64. Do you drive?
    infrequently

    65. What's the latest you have ever stayed out?
    all night and late into the next morning... eeh.  no good.


    66. Have you ever thought that you were honestly going to die?
    i can't honestly say that i have

    67. Were you ever rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room?
    i was rushed by a snowcat to a clinic once... but i was unconcious.

    68. Have you ever been dared to do something you didn't want to do?
    yeah

    69. What's your favorite state to live in?
    altered
    but no, i've only ever lived here... i do love it, but i'd also love to live "back east" or in california.  first choice though would be in europe.

  • So, I just got home this afternoon.  What a good spring break.  Skiing was awesome, I only went up one day though because on the second day it was snowing, and that's never fun.  The first day was great skiing, though.  I wore a helmet for the first time, so I had some crazy confidence.  I probably fell 6 or 7 times doing jumps or going way too fast.  I'm getting a bit better I think... I'm still scared to do anything too crazy though...


    L.A. was great as well.  I never really liked that city at all but I guess I was just in the wrong places.  We stayed in West Hollywood with some friends of Mike's, and they were amazing.  They had a great little place and it was ridiculously comfortable staying there.  The first day he took us on a little tour of the city, we went up on Mulholland Drive and down into the Valley, then over to Santa Monica pier and saw this amazing art exhibit.  I pissed everyone off by spending way too much time in there... Me and my taking art way too seriously.  It was really, really cool though.  Basically we just explored their city all week, and I was impressed.  We saw Danny Bonnaduce on the street and the pedophile principal from Ferris Bueller at Starbucks.  Went to malls and the movies, ate delicious things and saw beautiful places.  Yesterday we went to the Getty Center, which was absolutely amazing, I love that building.


    Yeah, I don't really know what else to say... I'm sad it's over.  I miss you already.

  • 10:00. Two more hours of work and then it's Spring Break, baby. My one Friday class is cancelled so it's straight home to pack! I'm going skiing tomorrow, maybe with Adam if he doesn't have to babysit his cats. I hate that termonolgy. Babysit cats? I think "catsit" is appropriate." Anyway I'm going to be in the mountains all weekend and then I'm going to LA with Mike on Monday... Wuh? Could this spring break BE any cooler? I really don't think so, and I'm soooo excited. And I'm going to have like a whole level of rested xp on wow when I get back. I'll be 44! ...Am I a nerd?

    Still reeling over this past weekend... it was so good. Read Mike's blog if you want more details... He wrote a pretty good entry just a while ago.

    Still haven't heard anything about my grandpa's surgery. Thanks, loving family! Tell Dedo get well soon and I love him.

  • I just had a really nice weekend.  Mike was here from Canada, it was the first time I'd seen him since winter break.  Two and a half months is WAY too long to be apart... I was starting to go a little crazy.  ::sigh:: that boy is so great.  Every time I'm with him I realize how lucky I am all over again.


    On Saturday we went to Denver to see my sister's school musical.  It was alright... I really wasn't a fan of the play itself, it was a classic sure, but ::yawn::.  The cast was pretty good, but the leads just weren't what I remember them being like when I was in school.  The crew seemed like they did a pretty great job.


    The scary part of attending the show was that Mike met my parents, sisters, AND grandparents all in one night.  Poor guy, he was SO nervous, but I'm so proud of him for going through with it.  He did great... I know my parents loved him.  Neither of my sisters really talked to him, and my grandparents only did for a little, but they had no idea who he really WAS anyway.  I was so relieved afterwards, but then I got a little sad... will my family REALLY ever love Mike?  I really don't know.  Well, not about my mom anyway.  I'll find out about my dad soon.


    The best part of the weekend, though, was my friends.  Mike was also really nervous about meeting them, but once he got over that and was just able to be his normal, wonderful friendly self, I know all of my friends grew to really like him.  I was really happy that they ALL really warmed up to HIM as well, nobody was weirded out, and everyone seemed genuinely interested in him.  I was just so proud of how they all got along.


    On top of all that, we saw Brokeback Mountain (3rd time for me) and Transamerica (really good movie!), I finally bought a new iPod dock, watched the Oscars, and I ate at my favorite restaurant, Hapa sushi!  It was really just a great weekend.  Thanks to everyone who made it so.


    I'm pretty glad Crash won.  Good job.

  • I just got this email:


    Hows it been going?

    0ur store is your      cure@11.

    Many        PRE_SCR!_PT!0N-Ns             med!-c@t-!0ns          availab1e

     

    ...and that was the ENTIRE email.  HOW THE FUCK are people making money off of this shit?  AAAAAAAAGH!  YOU CAN'T SELL ANYTHING THIS WAY!  WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!  If I ever meet a spammer I will punch him in the face.

     

    The play was last night, it was a dumb play but the kids did pretty good (in the face of an incompetent new teacher)!  And it wasn't too awkward.  TOO awkward.

     

    My grandpa gets a new pacemaker on Wednesday.

     

    Mike leaves tomorrow.

     

    My view is so beautiful, and this song is too.  Download it (Groove Armada-At the River) if you like chill.

     

    Aaand.... that's about it.   Read my rant below if you haven't yet, it's really good.

  • I think it's time for a RANT!


    When I observe the current plight of homosexuals in todays world I get pretty depressed.  I mean, compared to how homosexuality used to be... Many forms of homosexuality have been culturally encouraged throughout history as well.


    So many of the great cultures of the world, from the Mediterranean to the Far East had forms of pederasty, or age-structured homosexuality (adult man and adolescent boy).  These were considered very helpful to the development of a young man, and most young Greek, Japanese, ancient Arabs, and even Renaissance Italians engaged in this type of relationship before they were married.  It wasn't just something that some people did, it was a cultural value.  It's in their mythology.  My new desktop image is a painting by John William Waterhouse, "Hylas and the Nymphs."  Hylas was Hercules' lover who wandered into the forest and stumbled upon a fountain filled with water nymphs.  Only they were ever able to wrench Hylas from his uber-masculine lover. 


    Even pre-history, homosexuality was quite prevalent.  Pagan (traditional, pre-religious) cultures globally are drenched in steamy man on man action, very notably in the Middle East, where homosexual relationships were held as an ideal even after Islam spread like wildfire in the 600s.  Muhammed told his followers “He who loves and remains chaste and conceals his secret and dies, dies a martyr,” concerning his peoples ongoing tendency towards pederasty.  Arabs continued to engage in homosexuality, some chaste as Muhammed allowed.  Pederastic relationships were thought of as extremely useful, beautiful, lovely things until the upper class took on Victorian attitudes in the 18th century, though they are still, to a much lesser extent, around today.  Traditional cultures in China also valued male love, though this was also surpressed in the last couple centuries.  Somewhere along the line, homosexuality became something that was outlawed, feared, hated.  And it spread.  "Sodomy" (named for the people of the Biblical city of Sodom, which God destroyed because it was full of sinners, sinners who may or may not have been engaging in their namesake) became something that was more commonly punishable by death than appreciated or even tolerated.  But why?


    I guess it has a lot to do with religion, to begin with.  At some point it became the common belief of the important people of Christianity and Judaism that male love was a lewd, unnatural act.  Maybe their race was struggling and they needed more babies so they implemented a law, maybe they believed it was dirty or unhealthy, maybe they were just mophobes, but I doubt anyone will ever really know.  But they immortalized their beliefs in their Religions.  They interpereted (correctly or not) vague references in their books as mandates to discriminate against something harmless.  And as Christian ideas permeated the world, other religions began to follow suit.


    In Buddhism, one of their five precepts warns against "sexual misconduct."  Until around the 17th Century with European influence, this meant rape, incest, or bestiality, but never consenting sex between same-sex partners.  Until corrupted by foreign influence, Buddhist leaders accepted or even sanctified homosexuality.  However lust (homo- or heterosexual) was something that was to be avoided as it prevented a soul from reaching Nirvana.


    In Hinduism, homosexuality is never condemned and is in fact sometimes mentioned in the Kama Sutra or depicted in paintings or sculptures of the Rig Veda.  Sex with lustful women is what poets spent most of their time warning men about.  It is Hindu belief that all beings need intimate relationships, and denying them to any is detrimental not only to them but to society.  Indians have realized for thousands of years that two men can experience romantic love, and that their love is not a product of mere lust.  They largely just left them alone.


    I guess I kind of percieve the Jews as a backwards, isolationist people.  They have passed this on to us.  "Do not follow the ways of Egypt where you once lived, nor of Canaan, where I will be bringing you. Do not follow [any] of their customs," the rabbis told their people.(Leviticus 18:3)  Until very recently, it was believed that men chose to engage in homosexual acts just to spite god or to be perverse.


    I guess where I'm going with all this is I wish I knew why... why were these beliefs formed?  Why did they have to spread worldwide and basically wipe out all types of culture..?  Why would a religion which would make a mother wish for her son a celibate life be so accepted?  I'm glad we're coming out of this, but I'm so sad that ancient cultural beliefs on homosexuality have all but been destroyed, replaced by hatred...


    One of many reasons I don't consider myself a Christian.  I guess I just feel a strong need to think for myself, to learn for myself, to form my own beliefs...


    To all you Christian gayboys... shine on...


    As for me I'm bout to have lots of hot devil sex when my boyfriend gets here at 7:00.

  • Jack Gelardi's ten feet tall.  Old school Hollywood baseball.  Me and Frankie Avalon!!!!!!


    Oh, this is definitely a week late, but the Coldplay concert was freakin amazing.  Prolly the best concert ever.  There were GIANT YELLOW BALLOONS THAT FELL FROM THE SKY and people were bouncing them around... they were filled with glitter so they popped them and it was pretty.  And all the rest of the stage stuff was pretty awesome too.

  • Never mind, he's coming now... haha

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