November 5, 2007

  • ME:  ooh crazy bitch at work yesterday

    sat in the drive thru for like five minutes and then decided to come in because her daughter really needed to pee

    so she parked and then started rummaging around all over her car while her daughter was dancing around painfully

    finally they come in like ten minutes later

    she’s like “oh we’re on our way to the hospital, she’s peeing blood”

    and we’re like HMMMM i wonder why

    so they’re in the bathroom for like 20 minutes

    and then come in and eat

    for like an hour

    HIM:  omg!

    and i’m talking to my manager like wow, this bitch is high… i know it… i thought it when she first came in, even before that, now it’s so obvious to me… i think she’s smoking meth or something…

    ya sounds like it

    so they’re about to leave and then she comes up to me and she’s like hey if you guys find an insurance card, it’s hers, we kinda need it…

    so she gave us her name and number and left…

    then like an hour later my manager was cleaning the bathrooms and found a pill bottle

    it’s got her name on it, it’s a perscription for oxycodone

    so i open it up and there are six different kinds of pills in there

    pink ones, blue ones, white ones, yellow ones…

    wow…freaking wow

    so i took em home

    and IDed em

    there was the oxycodone

    and endocet

    and xanax

    and ambien

    and soma

    and something that i couldn’t ID

    well shit
    what a crazy mother fucker lol

    yeah… i don’t know if i should call child services or not

    ya…seriously that might just be a good idea

    i’m going to take a vote.

    i say yes
    lol

February 6, 2007

  • I guess I’m pretty much done with Xanga… I have a new blog where I’m writing uninhibited and it is much more healthy.
    So.  If you’re curious, ask.
    I’m still reading all yours.

    OH and a warning to anyone who tries to go back and read my old blogs…
    I was pretty dumb…
    haha.

January 9, 2007

  • http://www.apple.com/iphone/

    told you…
    but i didn’t know it was gonna be THAT tight.
    WOW.

December 30, 2006

  • Hello, 2007!

    Goodbye 2006.  You were a cool year.  I will commemorate you with a cheap online quiz.

    1. What did you do in 2006 that you’d never done before?
    Dumped a long termer, had a real job, visited Chicago and San Francisco, saw BECK!, moved out of the dorms, moved into my own place, played the Wii, was in a high speed police chase, played an MMO, broke addictions, and indulged in a certain substance.

    2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
    N/A, but I’m making some this year.  Yeah, that’s a good idea.  One will be to blog more… even if it’s not here :D   Sorry!

    3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
    One of my second cousins… that’s about it.

    4. Did anyone close to you die?
    My Grandpa

    5. What foreign countries did you visit?
    None, sadly.  I’m slackin’…

    6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?
    Academic drive, money (only for half of 2006 did I lack this), success, peace of mind, a Wii god dammit.

    7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
    September and November 6ths were both pretty bad days.

    8. What was your biggest achievement of this year?
    Getting my job, getting some courage, growing up a bit more.

    9. What was your biggest failure?
    Failure of school.  Failure to get my head out of my ass.

    10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
    Minor illness, wisdom teeth removal.

    11. What was the best thing you bought?
    My computer, I think.  If I ever fucking get it.

    12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
    Mine, in a certain emergency, Mike’s at times,

    13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
    The driver in a certain emergency, Mike’s at times, the people who sprayed my girls’ fire extinguisher all over their lawn and car.

    14. Where did most of your money go?
    down the freaking drain, to my computer, food

    15. What did you get really, really excited about?
    Playing Twilight Princess, going to San Fran, going to Chicago, going to LA,

    16. What songs will always remind you of 2006?
    Hollaback Girl (reminds me of my dance party), Where Is My Mind – Pixies, Gnarls Barkley, Arctic Monkeys, god there are like a hundred more

    17. Compared to this time last year:
    i. are you happier or sadder? About the same… nah I’m not quite as happy.

    ii. thinner or fatter? hmm, about the same I think.

    iii. richer or poorer? POOR as hell.

    18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
    Studying, homework.

    19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
    ummm… biting my nails?  being a little bitch.

    20. How will you be spending New Years Eve?
    No idea.  Hopefully something fun and friend-filled.

    21. Did you fall in love in 2006?
    No.

    22. How many one-night stands?
    None

    23. What was your favorite TV program?
    Lost for most of the year, but I first saw Weeds over Spring Break and in the following months I liked it more and more until a couple weeks ago it officially surpassed Lost.

    24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
    Hmmm… HATE is a strong word, but definitely Matt, although I hate him a LOT less than during the first few months of last semester.  I strongly disliked Brian for a while but I got over that really quick and have forgiven him.

    25. What was the best book you read?
    Wicked

    26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
    Gnarls Barkley is up there, but I wouldn’t exactly call that a “discovery…”

    27. What did you want and get?
    To travel, freedom, better understanding, a trip to Boulder in April :D , a tattoo, a house, glassware, lots of musical experiences, DS Lite, a job, an Apple computer (although I didn’t actually GET it yet… fingers crossed.)

    28. What did you want and not get?
    A Wii, mental clarity, to see Jazz enough, for Phil to not go home, a working and stable long lasting (like permanent) relationship.

    29. What was your favorite film of this year?
    The Science of Sleep.  Runners up:  Little Miss Sunshine, Stranger Than Fiction, The Prestige.

    30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
    I turned 20, and went to Hapa with my family.  I love making them eat sushi >:D
    Then went back up to school and had a horrible, horrible barbeque with my friends that we enjoyed SO much.  It was a pretty great birthday.

    31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
    Money management skills, concentration, non-head-in-ass-ness

    32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
    Mostly unchanged, though with a boost from my Express employee discount.

    33. What kept you sane?
    Friends, plants, Mike (also the opposite though), music, lots of sleep.

    34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
    Jake Gyllenhaal and Heath Ledger :O and of course Hugh Jackman.  So basically the same.

    35. What political issue stirred you the most?
    Ammendment 44 and Referendum i.  Pissed me RIGHT the hell off that those didn’t pass.  UGH.

    36. Who did you miss?
    Mike, Jazz, Phil, Nate,

    37. Who was the best new person you met?
    Phil, Max, Hassane, Chris, Sylvia, Jackson, Gwyn, Sasi, Elliott… and more.

    38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006.
    Pull your head out of your ass.  ALSO: When making Liquid Crack, use only HALF a handle of Vodka, a few drops of food coloring, and if you’re using dry ice, make sure it doesn’t break up into the drink and kill people.

    39. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
    WIND IT UP
    WIND IT UP
    WIND IT UP
    Yodelehiyodelehiyodelooooo
    This is the key that makes us wind up
    When the beat comes on the girls all wind up
    And the boys all look but no they can’t touch
    And the girls want to know why they like us so much

December 24, 2006

  • If you haven’t seen Weeds, you should really get on that.  It’s officially surpassed Lost as my favorite show.

    www.dailymotion.com

December 8, 2006

  • Winding Down

    Sooo glad that that’s all over.  I got second place in my class on the results of my labours.  My design was definitely #1.  If I had had another week to polish it it would have been far and away the best. It feels so good that it’s over though.  Now I have nothing on my plate except a bit of studying for finals, and of course the SWEATER PARTY TONIGHT!

    I’ve started a new blog.  A muuuuch more private blog.  I’ve been debating it for a long time, but I really feel that writing will be extremely theraputic right now.  And that I have a lot to write about.  I guess private, uninhibited writing is much more freeing than this, where I have to consider what I’m writing and who’s reading it and what I have to explain about my life to them.  I like that about private writing… I don’t have to explain myself.  I’m really excited to start journaling my life, actually.  I’ve kind of cut out feelings and emotions from this blog in the past years, don’t know if anyone’s noticed.  It’s just not what it used to be.  I’ll still use this for my public thoughts and rants and suggestions for sure, and for more, because I’m not gonna waste my lifetime premium account.

December 5, 2006

  • Squeaking By

    As the semester comes to a close, it feels very much like a brand new chapter is about to begin.  So very, very much is happening in these few weeks.  I’ve set myself up for it, because that’s just how I do things.  All at once.

    First of all, there is, of course, school.  Which I hate, and have always sucked at.  Skip this paragraph if you don’t want to read about my troubles in this area.  My workload this semester is feeling very intense as the semester comes to its climax.  I’ve been working on this fucking Cartography project for the past week, and for the past couple days it feels like I haven’t stopped.  Because really, I pretty much haven’t; the vast majority of my days now are spent in the Geography lab, hacking away slowly at this gargantuan feat I must achieve…  It’s really hard, and no fun.  I feel like I’m sucking slightly less this semester, though, due in part to my fewer classes.  This has gotten me thinking about going to school part time next semester.  I feel like I’d be able to manage it a lot better, as well as have a full time job and try to start getting myself out of this hole I’ve been digging.  So that’s been the plan lately, to find a place to move out of the dorms next semester so I can go part-time, because you must be a full-time student to live here.  Of course, in order to register for next semester, I’ll have to pay for this one first, which I haven’t yet because of my twice-revoked financial aid.  I told you I suck at school.  My latest, and one of the more intese, cases of fuck-uppery has had me wondering if I’m really cut out for this at all.  Sure, I’m really smart and all, but for the life of me I can’t figure out why I suck at this so bad.  I’d been considering dropping out for a while until I can figure it out, but I know that won’t help me get out of my financial hole.  In order to pay for this semester, I’m going to have to take out a dire loan, one that will not be pretty to pay back, but I don’t have many choices.  My parents will have to co-sign on this loan, and they are refusing to do so until I meet certain conditions:  I have to get a job so I can pay it back (obvious one) and I have to register for at least one CLEP test.  If you don’t know, CLEP tests are by the College Board, they let you take a test and get class credits for them if you pass.  I’m almost a full semester behind where I should be in school right now, so I understand the need for this requirement too.  Honestly I don’t know why I haven’t taken them yet, just like I don’t know why I suck at trying to do school.  I honestly can’t figure out my laziness problem.  I’d like to.  I’ve been considering seeing a shrink… I think I’ll start next semester.

    So as my funds came to a new low a couple weeks ago, I had to look for a job pretty damn quick.  It had been a long time coming.  Finally got off my ass on Saturday though and applied to everywhere within walking distance (still don’t have a car).  It’s looking really good so far, as the Sinclair I applied at seems to be trying to get me to start very soon.  Hopefully some minor scheduling conflicts will work out, as well as me being able to go home for break at least for a while.  If I had to work over the break, I could always stay with the girls, I figured.  So, that was taken care of.

    Trying to find a place to live came to an abrupt and happy end last night, when The Girls, some of my best friends up here who have a house that basically has tied our circle of friends together this semester, told me that one of their roomates wasn’t coming back next semester, and that I was on the top of their list of people to move in.  I was SO happy.  I had been hoping so much that that would happen.  Of course I feel kinda bad for moving out on Adam, but I know he doesn’t care because Jake (his best friend) would move up one floor and into our room if I move out.  I would be happy knowing he’d get that chance… and also happy to help out the girls, who need a roomate badly.  Really, there’d be no place I’d rather move in Greeley, at all.  The more I think about it, the more I’m so happy that it’s happening.  I NEED a change and I can think of few better ones, for me and everyone else affected… So, that was taken care of as well.

    However, something else happened last night.  When I came out of the lab, I tried to call Adam, and found my phone wasn’t working.  I remembered my recent conversation with Mike where I told him that we were officially over and that I didn’t want to come see him this month.  Looking back, I know this conversation should have happened a long time ago, but I really didn’t know what I was doing.  I’ve never had to do this before.  It’s so hard to dump someone, I haven’t felt like this much of an asshole in a long time.  He wrote me an email yesterday saying that he wanted me to send my phone back, since he was paying for it.  Well, of course.  I’m actually pretty ashamed that I’ve kept it this long.  I asked if I could keep it until I got a replacement, and he said he’d like to cancel the plan by the end of the billing cycle on the 12th, but didn’t seem like he had a problem with that.  Well, when I found my phone inoperable last night, and considered his most recent blog entry, I didn’t really have to guess what happened.  I mean, it was a long time coming, but he really couldn’t have picked a worse time, what with my job search going on and all.  Now if any of those potential employers try to call me they’ll get the disconnected message, and I’ll get no job.  Sad part was, Mike knew exactly what he was doing when he did it.  Turns out he had a big breakdown after that particular conversation and read some dumb, poorly written article about getting dumped and immediately had to discard all reminders of me… including my phone service.  Well… whatever.  I’ll do my best to pay for it on my own for now, because I REALLY need that phone to get a job at the moment.  I’m just really hurt by what he did yesterday because he knew exactly what he was doing.  Sure, I’m the dumper, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care anymore.  I do.  And I thought he knew that.  Now he’s cutting me out of his life completely… I mean, I don’t blame him at ALL, but it also doesn’t make me feel like any less of an asshole…  and I’ll miss him a lot.  So this has, needless to say, put a damper on the happier things that had been working out in the past couple days.  It’s really hard for me to focus on this massive project with all this going on.  I feel so exhausted from all this crazy stress.  I cannot freaking wait until winter break, even if I am starting a new job it’s going to be so much less stressful than this shit.

    So if I can get my financial aid back next semester I’m starting to feel like I’ll be set again.  If not, I don’t know…  We’ll have to see what happens in the next chapter, because this one is definitely ending with a cliffhanger.

November 30, 2006

  • I’m having cravings…

    Study: One in nine MMOG players addicted

    Poll of 7,000 online gamers shows that 12 percent exhibit at least three signs of uncontrollable habitual behavior.
    By Emma Boyes, GameSpot UK
    Posted Nov 28, 2006 6:02 pm PT

    Massively multiplayer online games such as World of Warcraft, Guild Wars, and Second Life are becoming increasingly popular. All have celebrated milestones in their user numbers recently, with WOW announcing it has 7.5 million subscribers, Guild Wars selling 2 million copies (including expansions), and Second Life hitting 1 million users–many of whom spend real money in the game.

    But games like World of Warcraft are hard to switch off and walk away from, says Professor Mark Griffiths, director of the International Gaming Research Unit at Nottingham Trent University in the UK. That’s because they have no end, and there’s always someone online somewhere in the world.

    A Nottingham Trent research study of 7,000 online gamers showed that 12 percent exhibit at least three of the diagnostic criteria of addiction as outlined by the World Health Organisation. These include: craving, withdrawal symptoms, loss of control, and neglect of other activities.

    The survey was filled in by a self-selected sample composed mainly of males with an average age of 21 and was concerned principally with the potential for addiction to online gaming. Griffiths said, “I’m sure if we’d done this survey looking at non-online players, looking at gamers that play on stand-alone systems, my guess is that the prevalence of addiction-like symptoms would have been much less prevalent.”

    According to Griffiths, the problem with online games is that there will never be a point where the player has battled the final boss, tied up the story, and can turn the computer off with a feeling of satisfaction. “Of course the game never switches off; you can’t even pause the game,” he told GameSpot. “So if you are really into the gameplay, I can see why a small proportion of people do get hooked and feel like they don’t want to leave.”

    Griffiths was also quick to point out that there are many positive aspects to playing games and that those who play frequently can boast a number of advantages over the nongaming population. Those benefits include increased reaction times and better hand-eye coordination.

    The professor also told GameSpot that games had many useful applications, including acting as “distracter tasks” for those in chemotherapy, physiotherapy, and other painful treatment courses and acting as a tool for people learning to drive and those in the military.

November 9, 2006

  • HIGH SPEED FELON

    Ready for some crazy shit?

    It is November 6th, 2006.  I just flew back home from Chicago and my friends Adam and Jessie came with this dude Brian to come pick me up.  Brian is an acquaintance with a really fast car (Black Turbo WRX Impreza) that he likes to show off.  We drive away from the airport and everything is fun, we kinda go offroading by accident one time because the road we were on just ended and he was going too fast to stop.  That was pretty intense, I screamed and took cover as we hit a bump and took some air and crashed into a farmer’s field, but everything was fine, the car wasn’t even scratched.  That was just a Brian thing to do… we had gone offroading in fields around Greeley before. We laughed a lot, reflected on our current lives, and continued our journey…

    As we were driving up highway 85 at speeds between 75 and 110 miles per hour, the inevitable happened.  We passed a cop on the road and Brian failed to slow down enough to not attract their wrath.  So he speeds up when he realizes it was a cop car. 
    100… 110… 120… 130….
    The lights on the cop car begin to flash. 
    Brian does not slow down.
    We, the passengers, begin to realize what is about to happen…

    Adam was the first to vocalize his fears. 
    “Brian, what are you doing?  Stop, dude!”
    “No.”
    “Brian, pull over.”
    “No, man, I can outrun them!  Trust me!”
    “Brian, you can’t run from the police!  Pull this car over!”
    Brian refuses again and again.  I try to persuade him as well, but to no avail.

    Jessie and I are basically in shock.  I swear quietly to myself and shrink back in my seat.  My heart is racing as fast as the cars are.  Then Jessie begins to panic.
    “Oh my god!  Oh my god!  Brian what the fuck!  I can’t go to prison!  I have an unpaid ticket!”  She begins to cry.  “Let me out of the car!”  She reaches to pull the door handle.

    I have found out in a few recent occasions that I have moments of unreal clarity in times of emergency.  At these points, it becomes apparent to me, without thinking, what is the most important thing to say or do at that time.  Now, the most important thing is Jessie.
    “Jessie, listen to me.”  I maintain a calm voice and reach out and touch her in the front seat.  “You’ll be fine, Jessie.  You aren’t going to get in trouble for this.  We’ve all told him to pull over, and he won’t.  We aren’t at fault.  The best thing to do right now is to stay in this car.  Just calm down, Jessie.”  The words come out without much thought, but they seem to have the desired effect.  On her at least.  I glance back and see another pair of flashing lights.  Oh shit.

    Brian decides that the best thing to do is to get off the highway.  He waits for the next turn, which turns out to be a left turn lane, and speeds into it… and almost hits the car parked there with its lights off.  We scream and look back, it appears to be another cop car.  Thank god he was able to slow down and swerve to the other side of the highway.  Thank god there aren’t any other cars on the road.  Thinking of god so much gets me praying.  I say a prayer for strength and safety.  I just can’t believe this is actually fucking happening right now.

    The next turn opportunity is on the right, and we skid around it.  Great.  A dirt road.  Could this get any worse??  We achieve ridiculous speeds again, made even more ridiculous by the fact that we are now not on pavement.  The flashing lights are still not far behind.  I don’t know what to think… do I want him to get away?  Probably.  Do I think he will?  Probably not.  What the hell is even going on right now…..  Brian is blowing through stop sign after stop sign.  As we turn a corner onto an even smaller and less drivable gravel road, one of my favorite songs from Brian’s mix CDs comes on – - Wu Tang Clan, Gravel Pit.  I smile at the irony.  Is this actually kind of cool?  Maybe just a little

    The chase seems to go on forever, and we continue to plead with him to stop this insanity.
    “Brian, just stop the car, man!”  Adam yells.
    “I can’t!  I’m desparate!”  This is a bizzare and frightening thing to hear.  Ok, maybe it’s not cool.
    Jessie continues to panic, and I continue to shrink into my seat, yet find the words to keep her from losing it completely.
    “Let me out, PLEASE!”
    “Jessie, NO, stay in this car!  Do not get out.  We’re in the middle of nowhere!  You need to stay in this car right now.  We need to stay together.” 
    I’ve never had this kind of adrenaline rush, ever.  I feel my pulse, which is beyond excessive for just sitting in the back seat of a car.

    The cops are still in view as Brian’s tires find a stretch of pavement.  He speeds up to the fastest speed yet.  I’m not looking at the spedometer constantly, like Adam is, but I can tell.  Any trace of a smile is now miles away from my face.  Jessie is calling her best friend.  “I love you, I think I’m about to die.”  I recall a story about one of my mom’s friends crashing in a country intersection and dying instantly.  I see cars on an intersecting road ahead and I start screaming.
    “Slow down!  SLOW DOWN DUDE!”  Jessie also screams more to be let out.
    I see the pavement end ahead.
    “You need to slow down!  Slow the fuck DOWN!!”
    I see a turn in the gravel road ahead of that.
    “SLOW DOWN NOW!

    Luckily, Brian has heeded my words.
    Unluckily, he has heeded them too late.
    As we speed into the turn, we are going too fast to stay on the road.  I knew this was coming.  I brace myself.  The other side of the car slams into the dirt embankment, and I feel pain as my hip slams into the seat belt buckle, but only very brifly.  I’m not thinking about that right now though.  Jessie’s seat belt is off now and she’s screaming to be let out worse than ever. 
    “My glasses!”  Adam says.  For some reason, this REALLY scares me.  I feebly attempt to help Adam find his glasses on the ground.  Fortunately he is able to find them while being blind and I feel a slight wave of relief.  Nope, that didn’t last long… Jessie is still crying to be let out.  Now, I completely agree with her.  We all are yelling at him to stop the car over and over.

    He finally listens, because the cops are out of sight behind a hill.
    “OK!  I’m stopping!  Get out!”
    I grab my bag which is still on the seat between Adam and I, and as soon as the car is going slow enough, I open the door and jump out.  I’m the last one.  I don’t even have time to close my door before he speeds down a different dirt road.  It closes itself with the acceleration.  I glance back to find Adam and Jessie, and Adam is following Jessie who is running into the nearby field.  Jessie trips and falls, and Adam and I lay down with her because the flashing lights are coming over the hill.  We lay completely still as the car comes up to the intersection where he let us out.  And stops.  Not 100 feet away.  He turns off his car and gets out.  We can’t fucking believe it.  “What is he doing…” Adam whispers.

    Another cop drives up and gets out as well.  We hear them talking… and laughing.  This throws us off.

    “Do they see us…?”
    We can’t really look because we’re flat on our backs, looking at the sky.  The stars and the clouds and the moon are all very pretty tonight.
    “I’m so scared.”
    I’m shivering worse than I ever have in my life.
    “It’s so cold.”
    The cops keep talking.
    “They just said ‘three in the field,’” Jessie whispers.
    “Are you serious?  Can you really hear them?”
    We’re getting too cold to lay there any longer anyway.
    “Let’s just go.  Ready?”

    Yeah, we realize that we don’t even know why we were hiding in the first place.  I guess when I wasn’t in immediate danger anymore I stopped my miraculous emergency clear thought.  We walk up to the car, and see that his back tire is off.  Duh.
    Of course Adam is the one to speak up.  “Hello officer.”
    He looks back.  Oh man, he didn’t have any idea we were even here.  Fucking duh.
    “Oh, hello there..?”
    “Uhh… You know that car you were just chasing?”
    “Yeah…”
    “Uhhh… we were in it.”
    “You were??”

    So we get in the back of the cop car to warm up, get out, smoke, fill out statements, laugh, cry, ask questions (finding out that we were clocked by one of the cars at 127 MPH, and that Brian will receive 4 felony counts; 1 Evasion and Eluding, and 3 counts of Reckless Endangerment… one for each passenger) and see a fire truck and an ambulance drive by.  Brian is taken away in the ambulance.  “Is he alright?” we ask.  “Oh, he’ll be fine,” the cop says with a cop-like smirk.  We wonder.  Turns out Brian crashed again just a few yards away from where we got out.  Nothing bad, we would learn, but it’s still kinda scary.  After everything is cleared up and the cars are towed, we get a ride home from the nice young officer who chased us.  We tell the story about Creepy Brian’s HIGH SPEED FELONIES to a large group of friends multiple times.  Nobody can believe it.

    So it turns out he actually got 6 felonies… 3 for us and 3 for also endangerment of the cops that chased him.  Oh and they found narcotics in the car.

    I’m thankful to be here… and I’m thankful to have my moments of clarity.

     

     

October 27, 2006

  • Speaking of Scratches, the computer I was updating it on decided to delete 2000 of my songs today.  Great!  Then it wouldn’t let me log back on to check which ones.  Now I’ll probably never know.